dedicated to fermentation of beer & bread


Its a quarter past five and I’m seeking liquid cheer,

I open my fridge and find I’m running low on beer.

So off to the spreadsheets: Beersmith & Bru’n Water,

Even browsed an article saying its bad to chill with copper.


Recipe in hand now that the Sandman has my son,

I head out to the brewery to get some work done.

First thing I grab is a stainless ten gallon pot,

Set it on the stove and fill with water that is hot.


While the water is warming I weigh out some grain.

Barley crusher and a drill: check crush, mill again.

Usually there is some light spillage of grist,

So I go grab the broom and try not to get pissed.


Water is adjusted, and reached the correct calefaction,

I put in a brew bag, some grain and start the action

of mixing my grain with an over-sized whisk

I don’t care about aeration  – I’m convinced there’s no risk.


With a swirl and a flick the whisk is removed

And I check the temp: a perfect one-fifty-two.

On goes the lid and a light mash tun insulator

I’ll come back to check on this sixty minutes later.


While the starches are converting to sugar in my mash,

I go to the freezer and pull out some pelletized hash.

Magnum for bittering, Citra for a low temp whirl

I’ll also add Galaxy, Falconer’s and perhaps Perle.


I weigh out my hops for a hazy New England I-P-A

One sixty minute addition with the rest put away,

Till end of the boil after a light temperature drop,

I’ll put in four ounces of hops with a plop.


The mash is completed the enzymes are done

Its time to begin some BIAB sparging fun.

I hoist up the bag and its 210 micron filter

The wort drops down while the bag is in kilter.




With the spent grain removed the wort begins to heat,

I reach in the fridge for Fermicap and a leftovers to eat.

A few drops per gallon and one more for good luck

If this thing boils over, my wife will yell @%^#!


With a heat stick to supplement my electrical range,

The wort is almost ready for a slight phase change.

A bittering charge of Magnum goes in with a stir

Yeah, I weighed those in grams – I’m no amateur.


The boil rages on forty five minutes or more

I toss in my chiller and Irish moss (really, what for?)

Fresh hops, chloride rich water, adjunct-ed with wheat.

This beer will be hazy enough to make Jamil need to tweet.


I turn the heat off and get ready to whirl in the pot

With my ghetto-hydra-style-chilling big copper knot.

In go the hops and steeping goes on for about twenty

Then pour into the fermenter with London Ale III yeast aplenty.




Down to the cellar where its cooler, yeasties can frolic

By eating these sugars they’ll make this sweet tea alcoholic.

I turn back to the counter all covered with grime

and clean before my wife gets home, thus concealing my crime.


Exit Glacier. 6-24-16.

Exit Glacier. 6-24-16.


  1. The folly is you cleaned too much

    Cleaning a Kitchen is the job you’d never touch

    • bhall

      June 28, 2016 at 12:38 pm

      I’d love the ability to brew without having to clean,
      however sleeping in the bed I would probably be weaned.

  2. *Beatnik finger snapping*

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